I realise it’s been six months since I did my New Year’s stocktaking post, where I looked at helped – and what hindered – my attempts to sort out my PND.
A few things have changed since then. One of the most significant is stopping taking my antidepressant medication, without any apparent side effects. There was no real spur to come off them, other than as an experiment to see if I really needed them or not. I’m not ruling out taking them again in the future if things get worse, but it’s good to know that they’ve served their purpose of giving me the resilience to help me improve my mood through other methods for now.
I’ve also increased my working hours – not by much, admittedly, but enough to feel that I’m part of the working world again. I’ve had some interesting and enjoyable projects, which have given a real boost to my self esteem/ego.
One major thing that has sadly not changed is the sleeping situation. I am probably even more tired than six months ago because of the cumulative effect of the sleep deprivation. My kids wake through the night and are up and ready to start the day at 5.30. I’m hoping the early waking stuff will change as the mornings get darker, but I would welcome any advice from people who have managed to deal with non-sleeping pre-schoolers and toddlers. I suspect the only solution is for me to go to bed earlier, but that would feel like a backwards step in terms of regaining some time/head space that is not all about the children.
So, to sum it up (God, I love bullet points), what has worked in the last six months includes:
- Doing a mindfulness course (here is the one I’m following) and trying to weave it into my daily life
- Working more
- Dropping the antidepressants and replacing them with decent vitamins, and even more tea and coffee
- Accepting what I cannot change and changing what I can (stolen from the Alcoholics Anonymous Serenity Prayer)
- Being grateful for what I do have and trying not to sweat the small stuff.
And what hasn’t:
- Any attempt on my part to change my children’s sleep patterns.
Here’s hoping something might have changed by New Year 2013…