Tag Archives: Women’s Hour

Feel the fear – and dismiss the whole bloody thing anyway

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Very disappointing and sneering piece on Woman’s Hour today. The self-help tome by Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway is 20 years old, and the question posed was “Is Feel the Fear a feminist classic”?

The contributors were pretty damning (Historian Mary Beard criticised it for being too “upbeat” and unrealistic and the editor of Men’s Health said it was only read by neurotics who watch cable TV <ahem, and all the readers of his magazine which sells thanks to the gym-buffed naked torso on the cover are perfectly emotionally adapted>). Even journalist Helen Rumbelow, who was arguing in favour of the case, sounded apologetic as she explained that <whisper> some women had made empowering steps to improve their as a result of reading the book. And that it contributed to changing the way women (and the male readers, who are conveniently forgotten in the debate) viewed themselves, regardless of the way they had been brought up and the influences to which they had or hadn’t been exposed as a child.

Fortunately, a lot of listeners emailed in in support of the book (maybe a reminder to programme makers that media types do not always accurately represent public opinion). The fact is, yes it is very American and can grate a bit if you’re used to more downbeat literature. But why throw the baby out with the bathwater?

The central message (that it is only through meeting our fears head on and getting out of our comfort zone that we can really grow as people) is relevant and useful. Jeffers advocates taking risks and avoiding the trap of being too careful about life. Her book has sold millions because it strikes a chord with many people who are no longer happy to live being ruled by anxiety.

Self-help has become a much-maligned genre, due to the number of bonkers books that have somehow become bestsellers (such as The Rules or He’s Just Not That Into You). But when there is a book that is widely acknowledged to have helped so many people live richer and more fulfilling lives, why ignore it and lump it in with all the bad eggs? It’s easy to sneer, but it’s not big or clever.

Woman’s Hour discussion on PND

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I listened to this discussion on Woman’s Hour yesterday – the bit about PND is just after the Cliff Richard interview (which sets the scene nicely for talking about low moods ;-) ). The guests included Dr Clare Gerada, Chair of the Royal College of GPs, Tessa Baradon, from the parent/infant programme at The Anna Freud Centre, London, as well as someone from charity 4children, which published Suffering in Silence (see previous post).

All very sensible (and obvious) – Dr Gerada recommended that talking therapies be more widely used, and described her own experience of feeling low after having a baby, but where her situation was improved by the health visitor telling her it was completely normal to feel that way.

Luckily Tessa Baradon made the point that for many women, being told what they’re feeling is normal will not sustain them day to day, or, as she perceptively put it, from morning to evening (which is how I often see my life). They need more meaningful intervention, and a pep talk from a person unqualified in counselling or psychology simply won’t cut it.

She was asked about the impact of PND on the baby, how he/she will adapt, and often become a very ‘good’ baby (sleeping lots, being placid, etc), in order to cope with the lack of responsiveness from the mother. My children have not responded in this way (being screamers) but I would have liked to hear more on the subject, even though it would probably have made uncomfortable listening. I hate thinking about how my struggle to bond with my children in the early months may have affected them, but hope I am able to compensate now I am in a better place mentally.

I would have liked to hear more from Tessa Baradon, as I think the mainstream press likes to focus on the medicalisation of PND without acknowledging the many psychological factors that lie behind it.